The Weezie Going Blog

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But she dropped her rat.

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That’s not how I look after I check my savings account.

Babies are cute and all, but I feel like I can’t relate to them because they don’t have nail art/know what nail art is. Their hands just look so dumb and pointless.

I hope you’re calling someone about your nails.

I’d be crying too if I had super small nails with no nail polish.

Yeah, you’re all dressed up but you might as well not go to that party. Your nails look like crap.

I’m tired too. Your nails are boring me.

You look like you’re having the time of your life. But you don’t know what living is until you’ve had your nails painted to look like little individual watermelon.

For Valentine’s Day-The Disney Relationships You Wish You Had

Belle and the Beast: Every woman wishes someone loved her enough to kidnap her, lock her up and yell at her a lot. That’s how true love grows and flourishes. Plus the beast was super hot. Body full of fur, giant teeth, a terrifying voice, and lots of weird embellished outfits. Yes please!

Pocahontas & John Smith: They always say the best relationships bloom when a man first thinks of you as a savage and their relationship was no exception. Maybe they didn’t stay together in the end, but absence makes the heart grow fonder. A long distance relationship with a man who doesn’t completely respect me or my family/tribe? Yes please!

Ariel & Eric: We all want a man to fall in love with our looks and not our opinions or personality. That’s why their relationship was perfect! Ariel lost her voice but not her beauty, which is what truly matters. Also, a man who’d still want to have sex with me after finding out I’m a sea creature? Yes please!

Cinderella &: Prince Charming: A man who is gracious enough to return a womans shoe after a wild night out? Yes PLEASE!

Simba & Nala: I want to have sex with a lion.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: 7 men to have sex with? Yes please!

Cinderella and Those 3 Mice Friends: 3 super supportive and encouraging mice to have sex with? Yes please!

Princess Jasmine and her dad: A supportive dad would be nice.

My new favorite thing that keeps happening to me is after a snowstorm when it’s really slippery out, I’ll be walking outside and a little old lady will ask me to hold her hand while she crosses the street. It feels so good to help someone and they are always so grateful. Recently, however, I saw a little old lady who I thought was struggling to cross the street. I asked if she wanted me to hold her hand. She looked deeply disturbed and made me feel like some weird creep who goes around town looking for old people to hold her hand so she won’t feel so alone for a couple of minutes during the day. And the worst part was she was right.

They say breakfast is the most important part of your day, but I would argue that there are more important parts. They are as follows:

1)The part where you put on pants
2)The part where you put on a shirt
3)The part where you put on shoes and other necessary accessories

I guess what I’m trying to say is, you just don’t want to be naked for the whole day.

The other day I was walking home, holding my Trader Joe’s grocery bag close to my heart, because I bought perfectly ripe bananas and I felt very protective over them, when I saw two different couples making out. It was then that I realized love comes in all shapes and sizes. And mine just happened to be a grocery bag filled with perfectly ripe bananas. 

Animals I Wish Would Hibernate

No one wants to see you here, wolf.

Why don’t you get your own life, owl. Stop intruding on mine.

Okay, deer, I get it. Now let me forget about you for the next 4 months.

I don’t like the way you look. Give me a break from your face.

Stock up those nuts and go to sleep. You’re bothering me.

You’re too sly for your own good and mine. I don’t like knowing you’re out there. Go to bed.

I don’t want to clean your poop anymore. Please sleep!

lolliblog:


Liza has always had a punk/rebellious streak when it comes to clothes. We would get her dressed and immediately she would start adjusting her outfit to her liking. Her efforts were never an improvement, which is one of the reasons I think it’s ironic that she’s working at American Apparel. Here are some examples of Liza in her willful prime: Accessories like fake plastic glasses and the party dress with Jake’s Ninja Turtles cap worn backwards were trademark touches. Check out what she did to the yellow and red teddybear and hearts outfit I got her one Christmas. Add a defiant jaw-set and Flashdance the top, and you’ve got classic Liza. 

I would give anything to have that Ninja Turtles hat back.

lolliblog:

Liza has always had a punk/rebellious streak when it comes to clothes. We would get her dressed and immediately she would start adjusting her outfit to her liking. Her efforts were never an improvement, which is one of the reasons I think it’s ironic that she’s working at American Apparel. Here are some examples of Liza in her willful prime: Accessories like fake plastic glasses and the party dress with Jake’s Ninja Turtles cap worn backwards were trademark touches. Check out what she did to the yellow and red teddybear and hearts outfit I got her one Christmas. Add a defiant jaw-set and Flashdance the top, and you’ve got classic Liza.

I would give anything to have that Ninja Turtles hat back.

The other day I was walking and a man looked at this girl ahead of me and made these gross kissing noises to her as she walked past him. I wanted to ask him what he thought that would do? Did he think the girl would fall in love with him and start kissing him back? Did he think that she would think he was cool and ask him out? I also wanted to ask him, what about me?